Focus. {January: Morning Routine} #ROW80

New Year. New resolutions.

Bah. Humbug.

I am over resolutions. I never even last three days with those things. And they are always the same ones (write so many words; lose weight; stop drinking pop). And by February I hate myself for failing. And then I sink rapidly into the depths of despair, until the winter beast known as Depression (that lying bitch) crawls into my brain, where she remains till spring.

Funk dat.

I’m not doing it this year, you guys.

BUT!

I did choose one word on which to focus for the year: FOCUS.

Yeah. I’m gonna focus on focus.

And the first focus I’m gonna focus on is my routines. Specifically, my morning routine, my mid-day routine, and my before-bed routine.

I’m kinda cheating here, because I have already been mildly focused on my morning routine for most of December. And, surprisingly, I really like it.

A lot, actually.

You will probably think it’s stupid. That’s okay. It’s not for you. It’s not for my “friend” Cunty McGee, either (you will be reading more about my “friend” Cunty McGee in the coming weeks).

It’s not for anyone but me.

But here it is anyway. Because, you know, “declare your intentions” and all that for A Round of Words in 80 Days {ROW80}.

Round 1 starts today, BTW.

My Morning Routine:

1. Drink water upon waking. I thought this one would be dumb, but it’s been the easiest habit to adopt and makes me feel good immediately. From the moment I sit up I am already able to mark a task as complete. Coolio.
2. Brush and floss. I know, I know. This shouldn’t even be a question. But until I made it part of my morning routine, I’d been hit or miss. Yes, I’m a big fat grody face. Whatever. You don’t have to kiss me. And now I’m doing it so fuck off.
3. Make my bed. I actually hate this. But since it’s easy, and since by now I’m kind of on a roll, I do it anyway. It will never be habitual – rather, it will always take a concentrated, specific effort to accomplish. But now I’ve only been awake for maybe ten minutes and I am already KILLING IT.
4. Do laundry. Put away the clothes from the dryer. Move the clothes that were in the washer into the now-empty dryer. Put a new load of dirty clothes into the now-empty washer. I do this again most evenings, so there is literally ALWAYS something in both machines.
5. Swish-and-swipe. I got swish-and-swipe from Fly Lady. Every morning I clean the toilet and wipe down the bathroom sink. Now my tiny potty-hole is always clean. Which is awesome, because people actually come visit me now, and all of them seem to have tiny, non-working bladders.
6. Scoop the litter box. This used to be my husband’s job, but he never got it done. Probably because MAN. But that might be sexist and therefore I might be wrong.
7. Eat breakfast. That seems like a seriously disgusting thing to do after I’ve just cleaned the shitters and pissers. I promise I wash my hands first. Really. I swear. Anyway – if left to my own devices, I would skip this meal entirely. I don’t typically notice I’m hungry until like noon, and then suddenly I’m ravenous and I spend the rest of the day, all the way through the evening, until midnight gorging on anything that will stand still long enough to be shoved down my gullet. Who knew breakfast keeps hunger in check?
8. Wash dishes. And, you know, put them away.
9. Plan dinner. I’m still getting the hang of this. I am by nature a procrastinator. The idea of knowing at 10am what I will want to eat at 6pm seems ludicrous. But when I make the effort, we spend much less money by avoiding ordering out or picking up drive-through. Plus it generally tastes better. THAT IS A LIE. Cheese pizza with mushrooms and onions will always taste better than anything we make.
10. Do yoga. I found this 30-day yoga challenge on YouTube that seems geared toward beginners, which is nice because my stomach keeps making me feel stupid by getting in my way so I can’t do all the poses correctly. It’s a really great workout for me.
11. Shower, get dressed, and put on makeup. I hate showering daily. It’s a waste of time, and water, and is completely unnecessary given that showering every few days is fine for our bodies and actually preferable for hair. But if I work up a sweat, which I do with yoga, I have to get that off of me. Sweat is grody. I force myself to get dressed because, as an unemployed writerly homebody, I tend to stay in my pajamas. Which would be fine, except like I said, people keep stopping by to see me. As for makeup, I recently discovered that if I wear my hair a certain way and do up my eyes JUST RIGHT, people actually think I’ve lost weight, because it elongates my face. I am all for that sort of trickery.
12. Write in my journal. This means summing up the prior day and checking ahead for the day to come, as well as writing down something for which I am grateful (since I am a cynical, jaded, cranky ol’ bitch). It might mean doodling, too, or making lists. It’s also where I grant myself Gold Stars for Getting Shit Done. Basically, it’s a fun way to reward myself for completing my morning routine.

So that’s my goal for January.

Focus on my morning routine.

Next month I will continue doing my morning routine while focusing on my mid-day routine, and in March I will keep up both of those routines while focusing on my before-bed routine.

That takes me through the first quarter of the year, right up to the end of Round 1 of ROW80. By then it will be April, time for Camp NaNoWriMo, and I can change my focus from routines to writing for ROW80 Round 2.

And so it goes.

No specific writing goals at this time. Just trying to get my collective shit straight. Which, incidentally, frees me up to write more. Shhhh… don’t tell my brain. What it doesn’t know can’t hurt it.

FOCUS.

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