Quid Pro Quo #1 – #MagicTheGathering #MtG #IFTTT

Quid pro quo (“something for something” in Latin) means an exchange of goods or services, where one transfer is contingent upon the other. English speakers often use the term to mean “a favour for a favour”; phrases with similar meaning include: “give and take”, “tit for tat”, and “you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”

Quid Pro Quo is basically an even trade, and it is what IFTTT is based upon.

I spoke not too awfully long ago about the IFTTT of marriage – If THIS, Then THAT – in which partners must sometimes negotiate in order to keep the peace.

This concept is not to be confused with “compromise” in which both parties lose and nobody really wins.

Rather, this is a definitive trading off of wins and losses. Quid Pro Quo exactly encompasses this idea.

Here is the Quid Pro Quo upon which my hubz and I previously agreed:

• IF {THIS} I play MtG, THEN {THAT} he will play Barbies.
• IF {THIS} I play Risk, THEN {THAT} he will color in a coloring book.
• IF {THIS} I play chess, THEN {THAT} he will do some scrapbooking.
• IF {THIS} I listen to his shitty music, THEN {THAT} he will go geocaching.

First up is Magic the Gathering {MtG}.

My deck arrived in the mail last week. Joy.

Magic the Gathering is a card game.

It’s like a souped-up version of the game of War.

In War, two players flip cards and try to beat each other at smacking the card with the higher value. While there is no smacking happening during MtG, there is a lot of trying to beat each other via higher value cards. And value is determined through various methods of ridiculousness that I can’t possible define because, quite frankly…

I don’t get it.

I don’t really get it.

There is something called a casting cost, which is actually defined by mana or land, and I don’t understand if the “mana or land” is ONE thing, like as in “mana-or-land”, or if it’s two separate things, like as in “either mana, OR land, but not both” because I only ever say mana. I think.

But sometimes you pay to have something put out on the table, and then you have to pay something else to actually PLAY the card, which I think is stupid because I’m like, “I already paid for it to be there, so you are in essence double-taxing me!” which my hubz said was untrue. I think he’s a goddamn liar.

There are also these rock-things.

I think they are supposed to represent your life or your hit points or something like that. I don’t really know. They look like those flat marbles that people put in the bottom of a fish tank. My hubz thinks it’s rude of me to say that, but I can’t help it if it’s true.

MtG rocks

I insisted to my hubz that, if he really wanted me to play MtG, he must build me a deck of really cool cards. I was kind of hoping he would back down, because cards cost money and we are po’ asses. Then I asked for mermaid cards, expecting he would balk.

But he didn’t balk.

He spent the money. He bought me a deck of Merfolk. And, I have to be honest here, they are kind of badass. There is really gorgeous art on every card, which makes them kind of cool. And, you guys, the pictures are of mer-people. Not just mermaids, but mer-guys, too! Mer-people. Merfolk. So awesome.

These are four of the many cards in my Merfolk deck. Click on the image to see what other cards came in this deck.

My hubz also got our daughter a deck. She wanted cats, so all her cards are of cat people. Or cat folks. Or just cats. I don’t know what they are called, now that I’m thinking about it. Anyway, they are awesome, too.

In order to test out our new decks, my hubz played them against one of his other gamer-dork-friends. The cat deck didn’t fare so well, but my mer-people kicked ass all over the place.

MtG is too hard.

So MtG cards are lovely to look at, but horrible to actually play, if you are a stupid-headed stupid-head like me.

Because, you’re supposed to have a good understanding of what each card in your hand can do.

But since I had never played before, my understanding was nonexistent.

Which meant that I had to keep reading each card in my hand, over and over again.

But that’s not all. You also have to have a good understanding of what you have placed in front of you. So I had to keep reading all of those, over and over again, too.

And then there are the cards you’re actually PLAYING. Or battling with. Or whatever. I just don’t even know. But I had to read those over and over again, as well.

Oh, and in order to play the right cards, you have to be familiar with all the cards lying down on your opponent’s side, too. Which, of course, are upside down to you because they are facing your foe, given that they are HIS cards, not yours. So I had to keep asking my hubz to read his cards to me… you guessed it… over and over again.
I don’t have a great memory, you guys. My retention skills are severely lacking. It was a really, really painful game.

On the bright side, I FUCKING WON.

How’s the for Quid Pro Quo? Even in giving him something, I still got something back.

On the down side, he wasn’t deterred in the slightest, and actually wants me to play with him again sometime.

For now, he owes me a game of Barbies.

I will have to consider another Quid Pro Quo trade.

Any suggestions?

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